It may be time to do another 15 week study of marriage, like the one we did years ago using Darlene Schacht’s book, Messy Beautiful Love (aff link). If you’re anything like me, a refresher course of reminders to focus the heart and mind on the things of God is always a blessing, and always needed.
What a blessing that book was to my heart, and a motivating factor in focusing my mind each week.
Are you ready to continue the journey of marital unity with me?
What is Marriage?
Marriage is a sacred union between two imperfect people, who have made a commitment to remain loyal, loving, and devoted to each other for their lives. Marriage is not a contract. It is not just two names written down on a piece of paper to appease the legal system.
It is a union that is formed before the eyes of God, and creates a united spirit of oneness between two individual people. Marriage is a covenant.
Covenantal relationships are matters of the heart, as well as actions. But, as in all things, the heart will drive our actions, even if we think we are keeping emotions “under wraps.”
What is pent up and simmering within the recesses of your mind and heart with regards to your life, marriage, and values will eventually make its way out of your mouth.
But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.” ~ Matthew 15: 18-20
But, do you allow simmering thoughts of evil and criticism sit freely in the recesses of your mind and heart? Do you steam about the inadequacies of your husband, placing a greater importance on his seeming holiness than holding yourself to that same standard?
It is the hypocritical woman who has one standard of expectation for her husband, and yet a completely different standard for herself. Do not stay stuck in a place of hypocrisy. Take your thoughts captive and devote your mind to the things of God.
11 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Marriage
The best way to ensure a fair and balanced thought life about your husband is to have scripture always on the mind, so here are 11 scriptures, and suggested accompanying prayers, to help you get started. Pray for your husband and your marriage, and may He bring you peace everlasting.
- “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” ~ Proverbs 18:22
Abba, help me to be a blessing to my husband, and to fulfill the calling upon my life as a wife to be good to him and the fulfillment of your favor in his life. Convict my heart when I act out of step with this vision You have for me as a wife. Lead me down the path of your Truth.
- “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” ~ Proverbs 31: 10
Yahweh, may I reflect the life of the Proverbs 31 woman in both heart and hand. May my words, thoughts, and actions be in accord with your character that my life may bring You honor, praise, and glory. Help me to follow after Your heart as a wife and love my husband as You have shown me love.
- “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” ~ Ecclesiastes 4: 12
My Lord, let my husband not be overpowered, but help me to be a partner to him to defend against the lies of the enemy and the fiery darts he uses to attack. May I continually place my eyes on You to further strengthen and protect us in our times of need.
- “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…” ~ Ecclesiastes 3: 1
Father, let me to not be caught up in difficult seasons of life, but help me to remember that there are seasons for pain and seasons for celebration and that You are present throughout them all. Help me not to lose sight of Your hand in my life, especially through the valleys of difficult days.
5. “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” ~ Ephesians 5: 33
God, protect me from my own sinful flesh. Help me to not act out in my sin, but rather help me to be fortified and strengthened with the cleansing of the Word. May I not dishonor my husband in my heart, but lift him up in honor and respect at all times.
- “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” ~ Genesis 2: 24
Help me, Abba, to be committed to my marriage, and not be distracted by the thoughts, opinions, and preferences of others. May my heart be turned towards my relationship with my husband and seek a protective unity with him over our household and family.
- “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” ~ Genesis 2:25
Father, sometimes I do not feel “shameless” when I stand naked. Help my heart to not be overcome with the lies of the world, but to find peace and gratitude in the strength and beauty of the body You blessed me with. Help me to center my thoughts on speaking loving truth to both myself and about others, for our bodies are a gift from You, our Creator.
- “But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.” ~ Genesis 19: 26
Lord, let me not be like Lot’s wife, who turned back in disobedience and was destroyed because of an emotional attachment to the things of this world. Help me to find the middle ground of gratitude for the physical blessings we enjoy and open hands for you to bless and take away. Let me not be so held captive to things that I miss the spiritual blessings You desire for me to have.
- “My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own family.” ~ Job 19: 17
May my husband never feel that he is hated in my sight! Father, help me to not be carried away with emotions into a pit of critical hatred and condemnation. Help me to take my thoughts captive and give them over to You, seeking You with my whole heart to handle the frustrations of the day.
- “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.” ~ Psalm 128:3
Amen, Abba, may this be our vision. May my womb be blessed with the fruit of children, and our home be full of the fruit of their lives. May we continue to keep our eyes on You with wisdom in bringing them up according to Your Word, and may we continually seek You as we await each desire of our heart.
- “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” ~ Proverbs 31: 30
Yahweh, may my heart be continually upon You. May my love for You overflow into every crevice of my life and may the light of Your love shine forth brightly out of my countenance that others will be blessed. May those within my home be the greatest recipients of this love and not the last to experience it. Help me to be centered on You at all times, and when I go astray, help to bring me back swiftly.