Some may call it reverse psychology. Others may call it mind control. I just call it pure wisdom.
Welcome to another Marriage Monday! I’m so thrilled you’ve come back for more encouragement and biblical insight to strengthen and unify your marriage, because, really, we need more of that.
We’re continuing on through Darlene Schacht’s awesome book Messy, Beautiful Love (aff link) and I know you have been just as blessed by it’s jam-packed wisdom as I have. This week we are being inspired by chapter twelve, “Build a Strong Friendship.”
But, if you haven’t even picked up your own copy, or have a clue what in the world I’m talking about because you stumbled over here from Pinterest, or some other awesome place on the web-o-sphere, you are in for a treat. You can just jump right in with us here and now, and your marriage can still be blessed; book reading not required =0).
Hold on tight, gird up your loins, strap yourself down and buckle in. Sometimes things get messy when we are dealing with the heart, and I don’t want you to fall out of your chair (you might get hurt, and that would really be unfortunate!)
Ready for world domination in your home? I know I am!
17 Ways to Dominate in Your Husband’s Heart
So, mind control, right? Maybe not something you’d associate with marriage? I’m thinking you may have your head turned sideways, like a confused Shih-tzu puppy told to sit for the first time.
Here’s the jist.
Have you ever realized that it’s really hard to hate someone who is always incredibly kind?
That a person who repeatedly acts in loving and generous ways has a way of sneaking themselves quietly into the crevices of your heart, planting themselves there like a vine at the foot of a tree, gradually and slowly winding around your heart and entwining themselves with you?
This is what I want you to be to your husband. End. of. post. (okay…just kidding).
But, seriously, I want you to be an infectious disease of love and support, kindness and encouragement, generosity and determination, strength and dignity.
Related Post to Check Out: How to Be the Kind of Christian the World REALLY Needs
Because, this is exactly how God loves us, and we are His people, meant to mimic His Ways.
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” ~ John 15: 5
This kind of creeping invasion of the heart is a slow, gradual, strategic plan to take over, and it must be carried out with small, careful steps.
This is your mission as a wife and helpmeet. To learn to become a continual stream of love, support, kindness, and truth. The single-greatest cheerleader for one man for the whole of his life.
Whether you choose to accept your mission is up to you.
It may not be a foolproof plan, but for the good men, who love God, these tips are gold!
I can only help to point you in the direction of heart domination. I can only give you a few ideas to spur you in the right direction.
I know, though, that with a little ingenuity and creativity, you can implant yourself into his heart, and position your marriage to thrive for many decades to come.
17 Tips for Heart Domination
- Ask him how his day has been, and then genuinely listen as he tells you (regardless of if your day has been terrible or not).
- When you are in the kitchen getting food or a drink, ask him if he wants something, and then bring it to him.
- Offer him a back rub.
- Take the trash out if it’s something he typically does, simply as a show of thanks and appreciation…no passive-aggression allowed!
- When he asks you to do something, even if you are in the middle of blow-drying your hair, stop what you are doing, and respond immediately with a joyful attitude.
- When you are out for a quick errand, call him and see if he wants you to grab something for him.
- Any time you pass him at home, make it a physical encounter: touch his hand, caress his back, graze his leg, grab his butt. Make him know you are aware of his presence.
- When you know he is having a bad day, take the time to bless him and reinforce your love (try to stick to things you know he loves).
- Laugh at his jokes.
- Choose to use words of gratitude in the midst of trials, especially those related to finances (he bears a burden of the heart for provision, and complaints only bring him down more). **Check out this post for more on this: Are You Using Your Tongue to Speak Death, or Life?
- Before he comes home, step into the bathroom and get ready to present yourself to him (like Queen Esther before the King). Make sure you have put on deodorant today. Brush your hair. Brush your teeth. Maybe put on a dab of lip gloss, a spray of perfume, or some mascara; whatever kinds of things he tends to appreciate and you genuinely enjoy doing!
- Thank him (honestly) for what he has done today, even if it was small and seemingly insignificant.
- Pray for him. Pray for his honor and blessing at work. Pray for his strength and wisdom. Pray for his peace and patience of heart. Pray for his health and relationship with God. **See more in this post: Dear Wife, Your Husband Needs Your Prayers
- Celebrate with him! When he is joyful and thrilled about something, choose to be excited right along with him, whether or not it is something you naturally care about. Care about the things he cares about.
- Think about all the things you love, admire, appreciate, or consider honorable aspects of who he is. Dwell on these things throughout the day and talk about them to your children and family members, or any random person who you meet. (Phil. 4: 9 in action…)
- Make him dinners that he likes.
- Be respectful in your speech towards him, no matter what.
Related Post: Simple Encouragement to be a Godly Wife to Your Husband
Successful Invasion Underway
If you are diligent to do these things, and not allow the failures of your husband to destroy your efforts, you, too, will pave the way for a successful marriage, one small step at a time.
Remember, you do your part, and let God and your husband work on his.
“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” ~ Prov. 31: 27
If you want to help other women become heart dominators, share this post! Spread the word.
And, if you loved the post and were helped, comment below and tell me all about it! Love!
Remember: No spouse can carry both sides of the marital equation on their own. This post is intended to help guide you on YOUR part as wife, but it cannot account for the heart of your husband. That is between his walk with God alone. Even the best and most loving wife is not in control of the heart of her husband.
The best we can ever truly do is work on learning to practice self-control, and then pray for our husbands to do the same. Keep trusting and looking up, even if hard decisions need to be made and boundaries need to be held. No matter what your path is, He is with you.